Emotionally Constipated

I find that once October hits my mood changes substantially no matter what drug I’m on. That change is never good. These days Georgia resembles Seattle or London with all of it’s depressing rain and lack of sunshine. I have had some good things happen recently, but it never seems quite enough to drown out this feeling of inadequacy that permeates the air I breathe.

What doesn’t seem to be helping is the constant chaos my home seems to be in. It’s not a marital issue (Thank God) but my daughter is definitely trying my patience and testing every boundary possibly known to mankind…and then there’s the issue of my sister and her family living in my den when they were supposed to be gone months ago. How is one supposed to keep their composure under such circumstances?

I often feel like life constantly demands an inconceivable amount of patience from  me while facing what feels like insurmountable emotional and mental obstacles. I have a host of siblings…I am the youngest…and I feel so disconnected from them with the exception of my brother. They literally exhaust my reserve of energy so much that I want to jump into a deep deep deep ocean and sink til I float. I can’t get with their logic or digest their issues. I am emotionally constipated.

Where does one find freedom from the angst that holds them captive when angst lives in their home?

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