Drinking excessively has never solved one problem for me. But, there’s something soothing about a good glass of wine to make everything feel like it’s going to be alright.
In 6 more days Jordan’s delivery date will arrive. I know I will mourn, and mourn hard. However, for the first time in a long time I feel like I may be alright about this. Nothing wipes the pain away…no that stain will remain for a long time to come. But I woke up feeling like her loss…my loss…our loss is not so crippling I can’t move on. Now, understand that there will be days that I will fall apart incessantly; but if my healing continues to be what it’s been those moments will become fewer and farther in between.
I still feel like my pen has lost it’s ink…haven’t been writing much poetry these days…and I think it’s because I am afraid to see what will spill. My pen has always been raw, candid and honest. These days I feel so overly exposed I think I should keep the nudity of my ink to it’s self until the proper time arrives.
My thoughts have been elusive the last few days; not really sure what’s brewing there. Can’t ascertain what direction my mental is headed. I pray for clarity and hope that clarity soon comes.
For now….wine’ll do.