So I’ve been here in Georgia for about 3 weeks now. I will be the first to admit it was not the miraculous cure for my depression as I might have secretly hoped it would be. It started out very rough with a threatened miscarriage at around 7 weeks; I was then put on bed rest as a result. Glad to say I’m in my 10th week almost 11 and things have been ok. I truly thank God for small and major favors.
It’s been an adjustment being around my sister again whom I haven’t really spent much significant time with in the last 20 years. I’m beginning to see up close and personal how damaging our childhood was…to all of us. And to be here among my family..my brother…my father…my mother… it’s been a helluva emotional roller coaster ride…but I’m strapped in bc I’m determined to ride this out to the end. This is my journey to self and I have to finish my path.
Absence from my husband has made me look at us…at myself…at our relationship in a whole new light…and it’s just the clarity that I’ve needed. Being out of Philly and away from certain people and energies has provided a sense of breathing room that I think I needed in order to see my life for what it was. Energies that were once swirling around me are no longer; and that’s what I needed honestly.
In the same breath; I’m homesick. I miss my friends. I had a pretty active social life so for it to come to a grinding has been a bit of an upset. I miss the hustle and bustle of Philly as much as I hated it. I miss Papi stores on every corner…with a Chinese restaurant on an adjacent corner…I miss cheesesteaks and hoagies… and I even miss my neighborhood crackheads lol. Guess I’d adapted to Philly way more than I thought in the last decade. O well. Life moves on.