I’ve gotta admit it’s a bit repetitious to keep coming here almost everyday to talk about my depression like much is going to change…I should have really thought that thru before I committed to writing a blog about my journey to recovery. Lol
Yesterday was one of the bad ones…and these days it’s becoming harder and harder to separate the good ones from the bad ones because they sort of bleed into one another. I can’t really explain what set everything off yesterday. I started the day doing yoga with the kids which was uber exciting; for all of us as a collective…so I’ve promised to do this daily with them.
But yoga seems to be the only positive thing that occurred for the duration of my day because yesterday I was a complete and utter mess. Everything upset me, everything set me off. The tears were in abundance and no matter how hard I tried or prayed there was no consolation, no soothing. And my husband tried to talk to me but I just wouldn’t hear of it. I pushed him away….I pushed everyone away.
I just wanted the agony to stop; so I popped a few extra Benadryl to no avail. My eyes didn’t catch sleep until 4 AM…and my body feels every bit like a body that got very little sleep. Perhaps it’s the shift in the weather…it’s been muggy and gloomy….or maybe it’s the impending doom of mother nature visiting my womb this week….whatever it is….it’s a dark place…and it absolutely scares me.
Saturday my friends are hosting a goodbye cookout for me in honor of my move to Georgia. Monday I am going into the Psych ward. How befitting the timing of everything….