I’ve peaked my head out from beneath the covers of my isolation this past weekend and visited with a few select people. It was not as overwhelming as I expected it to be and for that I am thankful. I find that there’s a continuity in concerns among my social circle…everyone is searching for…themselves.
I suppose I do not feel so alone in the questioning of purpose. It dawned on me that as much as I’ve abhorred my depression and anxiety it gives me a unique platform to speak from. As much as it feels like this is a weight I cannot carry I recognize there are MANY out there with so much more issue than me…and that notion alone provides even the smallest amount of comfort.
I decided to expand my circle of support and have created a facebook page entitled Ink & Wonderland: Down the Rabbit Hole. It’s an open community for those with mental health disorders and the people who love them. Sometimes it’s as simple as a lack of knowledge about resources…or maybe a lack of understanding about what mental health issues are. I’m hoping that by opening up a place where people can feel safe to talk about their issues will perhaps help at least one person who may be struggling with these types of issues and concerns.
I just cannot see all my pain and suffering being for no reason. I cannot see this struggle in my lifetime not having a bit of good flourish from it. I don’t expect to heal the world…but perhaps I can put a little good out into the universe and see what unfolds from there.
As for me on a personal level…I still don’t feel at 100% energy level. I’m still feeling lagged down by the constant fatigue and weariness. I try to accomplish small tasks like cleaning the bathroom…straightening up the house…and even doing small activities with the kids. I have scheduled an appointment to see the psychiatrist for an adjustment in my meds and I’m hoping as of next week I can resume my therapy with my psychologist.
I have the innate understanding that everything requires baby steps…not leaps and bounds. Each day is another day that I’ve survived me. Cheers